On Regaining Myself, Every time

Don’t you all lose yourself? I know, you do, but do you remain lost? No, you pull yourself up, every time to get going. The thought of the demotivating/discouraging itself becomes so digressing, to me,to you. Pulling up myself every time in expectation of something good has kinda stopped doing its spell on me. Why every thing seem stagnant, without its circle moving a bit? What is that good I dreamt of?Perhaps, the good times in store, the better days on my fortune wheel that indicates me to be a part of every mega event.

There’s fog on my head, rather my brain. Days ahead had been the question, has been the question and would continue to be the question. Many a times I thank God for not being born as a New Gen Lady, on social, political and moral grounds I believe I can’t get along with their ideas. Well, getting along seems possible, but not taking in those stuff. But I, for sure envy them and sometimes gaze at the exposure today’s Gen gets. That way, I wish a part of me could have been born to be called their contemporaries.

Why wasn’t it possible for me to understand my strengths as today’s children do? I recognise my strong points, but why is that I can’t explore avenues where I am strong? Desires should change way to actions. Actions need a dare and consolidated mind. Is that what I lack? Would a self-realisation at this point of life, time, actually help solve the problem? I sincerely wish I could.

Every time, I lose,I regain, on my own. As people around say, signs of a strong, bold woman.I too will make a mark, sooner or later was the single thought that kept me going. When the whole world is having light moments, as an ice breaker, I am right in front of this white screen, expecting my fine days ahead! And I regain, perhaps when I understand the ultimate reality. But tell me, don’t I deserve a shoulder?

Published by rekhashivam

Reading and writing is my passion. Philosophy, gender, Fiction, Mystery,Education, Thriller,I prefer these genres. But I must admit I am not a prolific writer. Just that I want to express and feel myself. Honest comments are heartily welcome.

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